There’s something timeless about sharing a drink. Whether it’s a celebration, a moment of comfort, or just a casual meet-up with friends, drinks bring us together. Throughout history, many have captured this essence in quotes—funny, wise, and sometimes poignant.
These drinking quotes tap into our shared experiences. They remind us of the joy, camaraderie, and sometimes the folly that a simple drink can bring. Here’s a collection of some of the best to toast to life’s many moments.
Funniest Drinking Quotes
“Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.”
“I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.”
“In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.”
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”
“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”
“Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.”
“I drink to make other people more interesting.”
“The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.”
“He was a wise man who invented beer.”
“I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.”
“Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol.”
“Wine is bottled poetry.”
“A man’s true character comes out when he’s drunk.”
“First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.”
“I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.”
“The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.”
“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.”
“A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.”
“I like to have a martini, two at the very most. After three I’m under the table, after four I’m under my host.”
“An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.”
“Work is the curse of the drinking classes.”
“Time is never wasted when you’re wasted all the time.”
“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.”
“I drink Champagne when I win, to celebrate . . . and I drink Champagne when I lose, to console myself.”
“Alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, may produce all the effects of drunkenness.”
“There are better things in life than alcohol, but alcohol makes up for not having them.”
“You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy beer and that’s kind of the same thing.”
“We’re all a little fragile when we’re drunk, just some of us are better at hiding it.”
“I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.”
“My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.”
“Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy.”
Inspirational Drinking Quotes
“In wine, there’s truth.”
“Here’s to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.”
“First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.”
“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”
“I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.”
“The best wines are the ones we drink with friends.”
“Drink, for you know not whence you came nor why: Drink, for you know not why you go, nor where.”
“In victory, you deserve Champagne. In defeat, you need it.”
“An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.”
“Too much of anything is bad, but too much of good whiskey is barely enough.”
“Drink to me only with thine eyes, And I will pledge with mine.”
“Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.”
“When the wine is in the wit is out.”
“There is no bad whiskey. There are only some whiskeys that aren’t as good as others.”
“Wine is the most healthful and most hygienic of beverages.”
“What is better than to sit at the end of the day and drink wine with friends, or substitutes for friends?”
“I drink to make other people more interesting.”
“Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable.”
“There are three things that improve with age: wine, friendship and ourselves.”
“I only drink Champagne on two occasions, when I am in love and when I am not.”
“Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.”
“It’s a great advantage not to drink among hard-drinking people.”
“Wine is bottled poetry.”
“Life is too short to drink bad wine.”
“There comes a time in every woman’s life when the only thing that helps is a glass of Champagne.”
“Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.”
“Good people drink good beer.”
“Never trust a man who doesn’t drink.”
“Wine can of their wits the wise beguile, make the sage frolic, and the serious smile.”
“You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy wine, and that’s kind of the same thing.”
“To alcohol! The cause of—and solution to—all of life’s problems.”
Famous Drinking Quotes
“Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.”
“Here’s to alcohol, the rose-colored glasses of life.”
“First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.”
“I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.”
“Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy.”
“Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable.”
“I drink to make other people more interesting.”
“Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.”
“In wine, there’s truth. In beer, there’s strength. In water, there’s bacteria.”
“One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.”
“Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.”
“I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.”
“Time is never wasted when you’re wasted all the time.”
“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”
“Wine is bottled poetry.”
“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.”
“I drink to forget I drink.”
“Life is too short to drink bad wine.”
“He was a wise man who invented beer.”
“There are two kinds of people I don’t trust: people who don’t drink and people who collect stickers.”
“Happiness is having a rare steak, a bottle of whisky, and a dog to eat the rare steak.”
“I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.”
“Drinking good wine with good food in good company is one of life’s most civilized pleasures.”
“Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.”
“The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.”
“Champagne is the only wine that leaves a woman beautiful after drinking it.”
“You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.”
“A man ought to get drunk at least twice a year so he knows what not being drunk looks like.”
“A little bit of beer is divine medicine.”
“Drink is the feast of reason and the flow of soul.”
“Milk is for babies. When you grow up, you have to drink beer.”
Drinking Quotes from Literature
“Wine is bottled poetry.”
“Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable.”
“Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.”
“There are times when a man has to drink to get himself through the day.”
“I drank to drown my sorrows, but the damned things learned how to swim.”
“In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.”
“The best wine is the oldest, the best water the newest.”
“First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.”
“Here’s to alcohol, the rose-colored glasses of life.”
“What though youth gave love and roses, Age still leaves us friends and wine.”
“Good people drink good beer.”
“I only drink champagne on two occasions, when I am in love and when I am not.”
“Too much of anything is bad, but too much Champagne is just right.”
“Wine is the most healthful and most hygienic of beverages.”
“What I really wanted was every kind of life, and the writer’s life seemed the most inclusive.”
“Drinking is a way of ending the day.”
“The best kind of wine is that which is most pleasant to him who drinks it.”
“Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.”
“Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.”
“Let us have wine and women, mirth and laughter, sermons and soda-water the day after.”
“To drink is human, to get drunk is divine.”
“There is nothing more poetic and terrible than a man destroyed by alcohol.”
“Beer, if drunk in moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit, and promotes health.”
“Drink today, and drown all sorrow; You shall perhaps not do it tomorrow.”
“Drink claret, boys, and talk Latin, like a posse of young doctors.”
“Let us drink to the renewed success of Irish arms, and confusion to the Pope.”
“The light music of whiskey falling into a glass—an agreeable interlude.”
“There comes a time in every woman’s life when the only thing that helps is a glass of champagne.”
“Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it’s compounding a felony.”
“I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.”
“A little bit of what you fancy does you good.”
“The first glass is for myself, the second for my friends, the third for good humor, and the fourth for my enemies.”
Closing Thoughts
Whether you’re looking for a bit of humor, some words of wisdom, or just something to share with friends, these drinking quotes offer a little something for everyone. They remind us that drinking, in moderation, can be a part of life’s joyful moments. From famous authors to iconic film characters, these quotes capture the essence of what it means to enjoy a good drink.
So next time you raise your glass, think of these quotes and the people who said them. They might add a bit more fun to your toast. Cheers to good times and great words!
