Laughter lifts our spirits, offering a cheerful break from the daily grind. Merging humor with positivity can brighten anyone’s day. Funny positive quotes remind us life doesn’t have to be so serious. They help us find joy even in tough times.
In this article, we’ve gathered some of the best funny positive quotes. These words will not only make you smile but also inspire you. Let’s dive in and enjoy these witty gems!
Quotes with a Comedic Twist
“Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.”
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.”
“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.”
“Always remember that you are unique, just like everyone else.”
“It could be that your purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.”
“I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.”
“A day without laughter is a day wasted.”
“My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.”
“The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby.”
“Age is merely the number of years the world has been enjoying you. Cheers!”
“If at first, you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.”
“I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.”
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”
“Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.”
“The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.”
“Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.”
“You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?”
Laughter-Inducing Positive Quotes
“Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.”
“Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.”
“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.”
“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time.”
“I was going to take over the world, but then I saw something shiny.”
“Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.”
“Life is like photography. You need the negatives to develop.”
“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.”
“Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.”
“Change is not a four-letter word… but often your reaction to it is!”
“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.”
“My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far, I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.”
“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
“Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.”
“I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.”
“Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.”
“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.”
Positive Quotes that Spark Joy
“Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.”
“Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.”
“I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.”
“To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone.”
“You can’t make everyone happy. You are not a jar of Nutella.”
“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.”
“If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there.”
“To err is human; to admit it, superhuman.”
“I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.”
“Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.”
“Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese.”
“I told the doctor I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.”
“Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.”
“I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.”
“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”
Powerfully Funny Motivational Quotes
“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.”
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”
“Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.”
“Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.”
“You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.”
“By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be a boss and work twelve hours a day.”
“Live each day like it’s your second to the last. That way you can fall asleep at night.”
“Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.”
“The only time to look back is to see how far you’ve come.”
“Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.”
“I’m a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.”
“If you aren’t fired with enthusiasm, you will be fired with enthusiasm.”
“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.”
“A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.”
“I am an early bird and a night owl… so I am wise and I have worms.”
“If Cinderella went to pick up her shoe, she wouldn’t have become a princess.”
“I attribute my success to this: I never gave or took any excuse.”
Uplifting Quotes with a Humorous Edge
“If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.”
“When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.”
“I can resist everything except temptation.”
“The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.”
“I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure.”
“Age is of no importance unless you are a cheese.”
“My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.”
“You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?”
“Life is too short to be serious all the time. So, if you can’t laugh at yourself, call me—I’ll laugh at you.”
“My life feels like a test I didn’t study for.”
“If you’re too open-minded; your brains will fall out.”
“I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.”
“To err is human; to blame it on someone else shows management potential.”
“You grow up the day you have your first real laugh – at yourself.”
“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.”
“I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.”
Entertaining Quotes for Positive Vibes
“Laughter is an instant vacation.”
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.”
“I intend to live forever. So far, so good.”
“The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up.”
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”
“Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.”
“Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.”
“Sometimes you lie in bed at night and you don’t have a single thing to worry about. That always worries me!”
“I’ve decided I’m not old. I’m 25 plus shipping and handling.”
“Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.”
“A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.”
“Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.”
“If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.”
“My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.”
Brightening Your Day with Funny Positive Quotes
“Life is too important to be taken seriously.”
“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.”
“I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.”
“You don’t have to be crazy to work here; we’ll train you.”
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.”
“My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&M’s and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.”
“Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.”
“I am on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.”
“I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.”
“Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet.”
“I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.”
“If you’re going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now.”
“A clear conscience is a sure sign of a bad memory.”
“Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.”
“If you think you are too small to make a difference, you haven’t spent a night with a mosquito.”
The Conclusion
Wrapping up, it’s easy to see how funny positive quotes can brighten our day and lift our spirits. These little nuggets of wisdom mixed with humor remind us not to take life too seriously. They help us find joy and a good laugh, even when things get tough.
Whether you’re needing a quick pick-me-up or want to share a smile with someone else, these quotes are great tools. Keep them handy for moments when you need a boost. After all, a bit of humor goes a long way in making life more enjoyable and less stressful.
