Laughter lifts our spirits, offering a cheerful break from the daily grind. Merging humor with positivity can brighten anyone’s day. Funny positive quotes remind us life doesn’t have to be so serious. They help us find joy even in tough times.
In this article, we’ve gathered some of the best funny positive quotes. These words will not only make you smile but also inspire you. Let’s dive in and enjoy these witty gems!
Quotes with a Comedic Twist
“Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.” – Charles M. Schulz
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” – A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh
“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” – Jim Carrey
“Always remember that you are unique, just like everyone else.” – Margaret Mead
“It could be that your purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.” – Ashleigh Brilliant
“I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.” – Tommy Cooper
“A day without laughter is a day wasted.” – Charlie Chaplin
“My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.” – Stewart Francis
“The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby.” – Natalie Wood
“Age is merely the number of years the world has been enjoying you. Cheers!” – Anonymous
“If at first, you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” – Steven Wright
“I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.” – Benjamin Franklin
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” – Robin Williams
“Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.” – Mark Twain
“The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” – Will Rogers
“Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” – Will Rogers
“You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?” – Steven Wright
Laughter-Inducing Positive Quotes
“Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.” – Oscar Wilde
“Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.” – Mallory Hopkins
“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” – Dalai Lama
“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time.” – Joe Girard
“I was going to take over the world, but then I saw something shiny.” – Unknown
“Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.” – Bill Murray
“Life is like photography. You need the negatives to develop.” – Ziad K. Abdelnour
“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.” – Alan Dundes
“Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.” – Jules Renard
“Change is not a four-letter word… but often your reaction to it is!” – Jeffrey Gitomer
“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” – Earl Wilson
“My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far, I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.” – Dave Barry
“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas Edison
“Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.” – Sam Levenson
“I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.” – Les Dawson
“Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.” – Will Rogers
“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.” – Jack Handey
Positive Quotes that Spark Joy
“Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.” – George Carlin
“Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.” – Anonymous
“I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.” – Steven Wright
“To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone.” – Reba McEntire
“You can’t make everyone happy. You are not a jar of Nutella.” – Anonymous
“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” – Oscar Wilde
“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin
“If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there.” – Lewis Carroll
“To err is human; to admit it, superhuman.” – Doug Larson
“I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.” – Jimmy Dean
“Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.” – Forrest Gump
“Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese.” – Billie Burke
“I told the doctor I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.” – Henny Youngman
“Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.” – Anonymous
“I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.” – Anonymous
“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” – George Burns
Powerfully Funny Motivational Quotes
“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” – Joe Girard
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison
“Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” – Will Rogers
“Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” – Leslie Nielsen
“You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.” – Sam Levenson
“By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be a boss and work twelve hours a day.” – Robert Frost
“Live each day like it’s your second to the last. That way you can fall asleep at night.” – Jason Love
“Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.” – Tom Lehrer
“The only time to look back is to see how far you’ve come.” – Anonymous
“Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.” – Unknown
“I’m a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.” – Thomas Jefferson
“If you aren’t fired with enthusiasm, you will be fired with enthusiasm.” – Vince Lombardi
“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.” – Groucho Marx
“A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.” – Henry Kissinger
“I am an early bird and a night owl… so I am wise and I have worms.” – Michael Scott (The Office)
“If Cinderella went to pick up her shoe, she wouldn’t have become a princess.” – Anonymous
“I attribute my success to this: I never gave or took any excuse.” – Florence Nightingale
Uplifting Quotes with a Humorous Edge
“If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” – Steven Wright
“When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.” – Cathy Guisewite
“I can resist everything except temptation.” – Oscar Wilde
“The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.” – Mark Twain
“I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure.” – Anonymous
“Age is of no importance unless you are a cheese.” – Billie Burke
“My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.” – Dave Barry
“You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?” – Steven Wright
“Life is too short to be serious all the time. So, if you can’t laugh at yourself, call me—I’ll laugh at you.” – Anonymous
“My life feels like a test I didn’t study for.” – Anonymous
“If you’re too open-minded; your brains will fall out.” – Lawrence Ferlinghetti
“I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.” – Anonymous
“To err is human; to blame it on someone else shows management potential.” – Anonymous
“You grow up the day you have your first real laugh – at yourself.” – Ethel Barrymore
“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.” – Elbert Hubbard
“I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.” – Mitch Hedberg
Entertaining Quotes for Positive Vibes
“Laughter is an instant vacation.” – Milton Berle
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” – A.A. Milne
“I intend to live forever. So far, so good.” – Steven Wright
“The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up.” – Mark Twain
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.” – Charles M. Schulz
“Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.” – Will Rogers
“Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.” – Mae West
“Sometimes you lie in bed at night and you don’t have a single thing to worry about. That always worries me!” – Charlie Brown
“I’ve decided I’m not old. I’m 25 plus shipping and handling.” – Unknown
“Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.” – Unknown
“A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.” – Herm Albright
“Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.” – Unknown
“If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.” – Yogi Berra
“My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.” – Mitch Hedberg
Brightening Your Day with Funny Positive Quotes
“Life is too important to be taken seriously.” – Oscar Wilde
“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” – Charles Lamb
“I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.” – Unknown
“You don’t have to be crazy to work here; we’ll train you.” – Unknown
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” – A. A. Milne
“My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&M’s and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.” – Dave Barry
“Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.” – Unknown
“I am on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.” – Unknown
“I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” – Oscar Wilde
“Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet.” – Bob Marley
“I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
“If you’re going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now.” – Marie Osmond
“A clear conscience is a sure sign of a bad memory.” – Mark Twain
“Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.” – Benjamin Franklin
“If you think you are too small to make a difference, you haven’t spent a night with a mosquito.” – African Proverb
The Conclusion
Wrapping up, it’s easy to see how funny positive quotes can brighten our day and lift our spirits. These little nuggets of wisdom mixed with humor remind us not to take life too seriously. They help us find joy and a good laugh, even when things get tough.
Whether you’re needing a quick pick-me-up or want to share a smile with someone else, these quotes are great tools. Keep them handy for moments when you need a boost. After all, a bit of humor goes a long way in making life more enjoyable and less stressful.
