We all love a good quote. But sometimes, a quote stands out because it’s strange or unusual. These “weird quotes” can make us laugh, think, or raise an eyebrow. They stick with us because they are different.
In this article, we’ve rounded up some of the best weird quotes. They are quirky, odd, and sometimes funny. Whether you’re looking for a unique saying to brighten your day or something to share with friends, these quotes are sure to entertain.
Historical Quotes
“I can resist everything except temptation.”
“To err is human; to moo is bovine.”
“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”
“Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.”
“Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.”
“I have nothing to declare except my genius.”
“If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there.”
“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.”
“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”
“I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.”
“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.”
“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”
“I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.”
“A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.”
“The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast.”
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.”
“If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else.”
“Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.”
“If life gives you lemons, make some kind of fruity juice.”
“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.”
“The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.”
“It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.”
“Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.”
“I intend to live forever, or die trying.”
“The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.”
“If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.”
“Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.”
“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.”
“It is better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.”
“I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.”
Celebrity Quotes
“I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells.”
“I got my toes in the water, *ss in the sand, not a worry in the world, a cold beer in my hand.”
“Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”
“I took a walk in the woods and came out taller than the trees.”
“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.”
“If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will get you there.”
“Just keep swimming.”
“Happiness is a warm puppy.”
“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.”
“I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination.”
“I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.”
“The earth laughs in flowers.”
“So many books, so little time.”
“The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind.”
“If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?”
“A day without laughter is a day wasted.”
“I dream my painting, and then I paint my dream.”
“Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”
“I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.”
“It’s kind of fun to do the impossible.”
“You’re entirely bonkers. But I’ll tell you a secret. All the best people are.”
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
“The only journey is the one within.”
“Sometimes you have to be a little bit crazy to make a difference.”
“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”
“You can’t use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have.”
“The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.”
“I’d rather regret the things I’ve done than regret the things I haven’t done.”
“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”
“Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.”
“To be great is to be misunderstood.”
Philosophical Quotes
“Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.”
“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”
“The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion.”
“Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”
“To be is to be perceived.”
“I think, therefore I am not.”
“The owl of Minerva begins its flight only with the falling of the dusk.”
“I must be a mermaid, Rango. I have no fear of depths and a great fear of shallow living.”
“What is now proved was once only imagined.”
“You cannot step into the same river twice, for other waters are continually flowing on.”
“I dwell in possibility.”
“The world is not comprehensible, but it is embraceable: through the embracing of one of its beings.”
“In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.”
“The unexamined life is not worth living.”
“We live in a rainbow of chaos.”
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
“The bird of paradise alights only upon the hand that does not grasp.”
“Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.”
“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.”
“I have nothing to declare except my genius.”
“The greatest wealth is to live content with little.”
“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a persistent one.”
“The soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts.”
“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”
“A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes.”
“If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading.”
“The mind is everything. What you think you become.”
“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I’ll meet you there.”
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”
“When you arise in the morning think of what a privilege it is to be alive, to think, to enjoy, to love…”
“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”
Absurd Quotes
“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.”
“I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.”
“There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.”
“Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone.”
“Why is abbreviation such a long word?”
“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.”
“I told my computer that today is my birthday, and it said that I needed an upgrade.”
“I can resist everything except temptation.”
“I have nothing to declare except my genius.”
“It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question.”
“Two wrongs don’t make a right, but they make a good excuse.”
“If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.”
“Reality continues to ruin my life.”
“A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.”
“I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.”
“We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don’t know.”
“My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.”
“I like to talk to myself. Sometimes I have long conversations with myself, and I am so clever that I sometimes don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.”
“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.”
“I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.”
“I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.”
“If you are going through hell, keep going.”
“Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long.”
“I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.”
“What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?”
“If I could drop dead right now, I’d be the happiest man alive.”
“I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times, just to be sure.”
“Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.”
“I have the body of an eighteen-year-old. I keep it in the fridge.”
“We apologize for the inconvenience.”
“Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, ‘Where have I gone wrong?’ Then a voice says to me, ‘This is going to take more than one night.'”
“I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.”
“I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.”
Humorous Quotes
“I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.”
“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
“I’m writing my book in fifth person, so every sentence starts with: ‘I heard from this guy who told somebody…'”
“I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.”
“I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.”
“The road to success is always under construction.”
“If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.”
“I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.”
“I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.”
“A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.”
“Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.”
“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.”
“I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.”
“Life is short, smile while you still have teeth.”
“The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby.”
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.”
“I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous – everyone hasn’t met me yet.”
“The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.”
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”
“Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.”
“My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.”
“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.”
“I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.”
“I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.”
“You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?”
“I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.”
“To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.”
“The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.”
“When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.”
“I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.”
“If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito.”
“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.”
Thought-Provoking Quotes
“The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.”
“Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking.”
“we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.”
“I have nothing to declare except my genius.”
“It is never too late to be what you might have been.”
“Weird is just a side effect of being awesome.”
“To define is to limit.”
“What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?”
“In a world where everyone wears a mask, it’s a privilege to see a soul.”
“The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.”
“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
“The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”
“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift, which is why we call it the present.”
“Not all those who wander are lost.”
“The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time.”
“Careful what you wish for, ’cause you just might get it all.”
“A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.”
“To be matter-of-fact about the world is to blunder into fantasy—and dull fantasy at that.”
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.”
“The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.”
“You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.”
“You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view.”
“It’s no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.”
“The purpose of life is a life of purpose.”
“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”
“Do what you feel in your heart to be right – for you’ll be criticized anyway.”
“Your weirdness will make you stronger. Your dark side will keep you whole.”
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain.”
“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.”
“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.”
Inspirational Quotes
“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”
“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.”
“There’s no half-singing in the shower, you’re either a rock star or an opera diva.”
“Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.”
“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”
“Weird is just a side effect of being awesome.”
“The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.”
“Why fit in when you were born to stand out?”
“It is not our abilities that show what we truly are… it is our choices.”
“What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly.”
“Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”
“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers.”
“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
“we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.”
“The best way to predict the future is to invent it.”
“You have to be odd to be number one.”
“The road goes ever on and on, down from the door where it began.”
“Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise.”
“Sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”
“Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.”
“Imagination is more important than knowledge.”
“Things are never quite as scary when you’ve got a best friend.”
“If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.”
“The only limit to our realization of tomorrow is our doubts of today.”
“It’s a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you often get it.”
“Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.”
“And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.”
“I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.”
“Logic will get you from A to Z; imagination will get you everywhere.”
“Don’t dream it, be it.”
“Be a voice, not an echo.”
The Conclusion
Weird quotes have a unique way of making us think and laugh at the same time. They challenge our usual ways of seeing things and spark conversations that can be both intriguing and entertaining. The list we shared offers a glimpse into the minds of those who think outside the box.
Whether you’re looking to add some humor to your day or seeking a fresh perspective, these quotes stand out for their originality and wit. Next time you need a break from the ordinary, revisit these quotes and enjoy the quirky wisdom they bring.
